Dear left boob,

I am sorry I put you in harm's way yesterday afternoon. I sincerely regret having you accidentally gouged while on the job. Believe me when I say that I would never have tried to lift that heavy set wall had I known the pain that would ensue. I promise to never again come that close to the ginormous screw that emerges from the side of said set wall. I winced in pain when I saw the big purple bruise that now adorns you after yesterdays mishap. This is technically my first "chest wound", which unfortunately, had to involve you. So, once again, sorry for the bruised cleave. Here's to a quick recovery!

Get well soon!

Lou