Dear Chelsea Handler,

How I love thee. Let me count the ways.

1.)
bend over and grab your ankles.

2.) Your book: My Horizontal Life: A collection of one night stands.
I think I pee a little every time I reach for this literary wonder.

3.) Your upcoming book: Vodka, are you there? It's me, Chelsea.
I will be waiting outside of Barnes and Noble for this one.

4.)
LOVES it

5.) You are my favorite Jew.

6.) You are a very committed alcoholic. I can appreciate that.

Loving you more than life,

Lou