Dear bony-ass bitch who owes me money,

I'm finally sending my bounced paycheck to the Douglas County Attorney's office. I hear that once they process my request, you have 10 days to pay me or else they issue a warrant. Aweosme. Just the thought makes me as happy as a retard in a room full of bouncy balls. I'm not usually filled with this much spite for anyone, but for you I will make an exception.

The thing is that its not really about the money, its a fairly small amount actually. Its the concept of the whole thing and I really just want to cause you a bit of trouble. If it means one less pair of shoes in your closet, then so be it. I would make a comment about hoping to take food off of your table, but everyone knows you are a champion anorexic and you don't eat anyway.

Hoping to see you in an orange jumpsuit someday,

Lou

P.S. Maybe you should stop boinking the married dentist. He's not cute, and he's never going to divorce his wife for you anyway, fatty.